Just to say Thank You

This is not a normal thank you letter

Not a disingenuous mumbling of words to get the recipient off my back

Not a ploy to clear my so-called guilty conscience

This is to thank those who shaped me into who I am today

Led me to the space I find myself in today

Standing tall, strong and confident

Beside the man who is nothing short of the king to my level of queen

Commanding an office that many walked away from for fears I cannot begin to accept nor acknowledge as I carve my own path forward

Led by the Spirit, guided by a lamp at my feet

It is by no means perfect

Nor is it easy

But I am forever grateful for my journey thus far

And hopeful for the path ahead

In my full armour, prepped for what is truly meant for me

But I digress

I came to say thank you

To the ones who doubted me

The friends who abandoned me

The coaches who wrote me off

The cool kids who laughed at my goofiness

The ones who took my kindness for granted

The once confidant, who abused my trust

To the ones who made me better through their negative words

The ones who continue to wish me harm

Those who laughed at me

Those who spoke behind my back

To the ones who compare me to terrible people, equate me to those in power who tried to break me, associate me with failures

The very ones who still hope to see me fail

Who spread lies about my life

Without so much as asking me how I FEEL

Because they are so much better than all of us, they are pure and clean, true disciples of the modern era

To those who seek to knock me off balance

The road is tough enough

I don’t need your pity, your scoffing, your judgment

I don’t need your envy, your greed, your lust

I just

I wish you happiness

I want you to be so happy that you have no time to look at my life through your fancy microscopes

The men and women with evil intentions

With negative thoughts and unfounded “declarations” of who I REALLY am

Unmerited accusations and assumptions

They called me fake and ratchet

They gathered others in misery, out of their own boredom to whisper about “that girl”

Thank you, deeply

For forcing me to dig deep within myself

To hide myself under His wings and seek to find who I truly am

If you hadn’t side-lined me, I would not have taken a second look in the mirror

I would’ve been happy in a simple life, not passionately chasing my purpose

But I thank you, every single one of you

‘Cause without you I would have accepted the easy, polite road

I would have walked around thinking I was surrounded by love,

I thank you for showing me what a ravenous wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing truly looks like

I would have allowed myself to maintain the status quo

But your words, actions, deeds and thoughts forced me to change

To learn to roll with the punches

In my dynamic strides to success

I just have to thank you for putting a smile on my face

You give me chutzpah, you light up my inner fire

Your actions force me to change, to fight for myself

Force me to become hungrier, force me to

Well, to be… me